Lately I’ve been reflecting a lot on my choices over the past year. I often find myself wondering if I have made the right choices for my life. This year was the first year in a long time since I haven’t played volleyball. I miss it more than I can put into words. For over six years, my entire life revolved around my favorite sport. I feel weird not being a part of something anymore, not having the sport I have turned to to solve all my problems. I was so big on the idea of going to a big school that I completely dismissed the possibility of playing college volleyball.
I wish I would’ve tried harder to commit somewhere. Volleyball gave me so much happiness and so many friendships; it is hard for me to see myself without all of that. A big reason as to why I didn’t try very hard to commit somewhere was my mom. We haven’t seen eye to eye on really anything for almost two years now. She wanted me to play in college and I just wanted to be far away from her. I thought that by choosing my own path I would be happier, but I failed to realize just how important volleyball was to me.
The other major choice I second guess myself on a lot is going to an out of state school. All my closest friends stayed in Texas, and if I want to visit them its over a five hour drive. I have thought about transferring a fairly good amount, and have to remind myself of why I chose OU. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate it here. I actually really enjoy it. I just miss my old life and think I took all of it for granted. Change is good, but I think I may have given myself too much change.
I miss my friends and I miss volleyball more than anything. However, I am a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason and that I should trust the process and I will end up where I am meant to be.
