Narcissism in men is often expressed in a way that drastically impacts a man’s relationship-either as a father or as a romantic partner. The typical narcissistic male would feel self-importance inflated, an inability to empathize, and the need for admiration constantly. These characteristics make them controlling, manipulative, and emotionally neglecting, especially in intimate and family settings.
As a parent, the narcissistic male views his children more as part of himself rather than as independent individuals with a different set of needs and feelings. Often, perfection is demanded from children, which is usually a projection from an unrealistically high sense of perfection expected of the self. If that child does not meet those standards, the reaction from the narcissistic parent could be criticism, belittling, or punishment. The result is a strained relationship in which the child is pushed to perform one endless series of tasks after another, yet the children’s emotional needs for parental endorsement and affection are never reached. The narcissistic father can also be cold and emotionally unavailable to the needs of the child for empathy, love, and nurturing. Sometimes, such a father may even regard the child’s successes or failures as an indication of his personal worth, thus exacerbating the emotional neglect.
In romantic relationships, narcissistic men demand admiration and attention without giving the same in return. They often tend to sweep a girl off her feet with their charming, charismatic, and confident personality traits, which are only unveiled as time unfolds. They are prone to emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and using their partner to bolster their own self-esteem. It may be that a narcissistic partner disrespects the other partner’s feelings; minimizes their concern or needs as something irrelevant; shifts all the blame for what is going wrong in the relationship onto the partner and does not take responsibility for their acts. In time, this partner may feel captive and walk on eggshells to always be pleasing or appeasing the narcissist.
This pattern of behavior creates emotional abuse within the father-child relationship and extends to the dynamic with the romantic partner. Lack of empathy from the narcissist, along with the sense of entitlement and need for control, produces an environment in which the victim is devalued, unseen, and not heard. In all positions, the narcissistic man is incapable of giving love or emotional support, leaving others marred by their encounters with him, needing healing.
Traditional gender roles have been employed as an exploiting means for narcissistic men to keep their leading positions in life. They manipulate the expectations of society, such as the belief that men must be “dominant” or that women must be “submissive.”. For instance, a narcissistic partner may use means of control because he has told himself things like “I’m the man of the house” or “That is my job to make decisions.” This would reinforce not only the imbalance of power but also the patriarchy that enables gender violence to thrive.
By exploiting such norms, narcissistic men dehumanize their partner and make them feel less worthy; again, this forces the notion that because of gender, men have all the rights to dominate and control women or their partner.