Life is all about maintaining the balance of work and play. For a few women, that balance is a little more complex. Finding the balance between school, friends, sorority, and pageant life can sometimes be overwhelming. 

“Pageantry really didn’t take a toll on my mental health. However, the preparation for it taught me how to better balance my time between school, prep, and eating healthy,” First Runner Up for Miss Oklahoma Teen USA Madeline Durnin said. 

Growing up watching Miss USA on live television, her little seven-year-old dreams came alive. Anna Lunday started pageants when she was just seven years old and has never looked back since. 

  “I watched Miss USA on tv when I was seven and just immediately knew I wanted to do pageants,” Lunday said. 

Since starting pageants, Lunday has had to learn how to balance her social life, school life, her busy pageant schedule, but most importantly, she has had to learn how to take care of herself and her mental health. 

“Like anything, it’s good in moderation, whether it’s a sport or not, there are those ceratin habits and toxic traits that come out, and you just have to be self-aware,” Lunday said. “I have been lucky enough to grow up in a healthy household and a very supportive set of loving parents, and they have entitled good habits within me.” 

Currently, Lunday holds the Miss Oklahoma Collegiate title and will be competing in late June at Miss Collegiate America. Through her work as Miss Oklahoma Collegiate, she has found ways to help create an environment for children where they can hopefully learn how to express their emotions through emojis. Emoji Emotions is all about helping children understand, express, and assess their feelings by learning healthy coping strategies. 

“Growing up, I had really bad anxiety attacks, and I had no clue what was happening, and I had my mother who knew how to help me cope with it. Although many children don’t have parents who realize what’s happening and don’t know how to help their child,” Lunday said. “Our goal is to help children in the classroom identify their feelings with an emoji because that’s comfortable to them, and they know what the emojis mean.” 

Lunday wasn’t the only girl who grew up in pageants and gave up a lot of the things that kids their age were doing to do well and win the crown or title. Former Miss Arkansas Oustanding Teen Sarah Cate Lay found herself, too, missing out and making sacrifices for the crown. 

“I really didn’t have a balance which created even more issues in the long run, I wanted to win for so long, and when I did, I fully committed and said yes to everything pageant related, which meant I missed a lot,” Lay said. 

The pageant world has been around for a long time and with it comes a hostile culture. This culture has been detrimental to girls’ mental health and physical health. 

“It was about halfway into my year as Outstanding Teen when I realized how burnt out I was; I averaged about 3-4 hours of sleep this much, hadn’t hung out with my friends since August, and could only think about what I looked like and if I was doing a good enough job,” Lay said. 

Having a sense of community and belonging is one of the many things great things about being a part of a sorority. Having friends and people there for you and always supporting you is essential. 

“Pi Beta Phi has given me so much support throughout my pageant journey,” Hurst said.  “From competing at Texas Teen USA to competing at Miss Oklahoma Teen USA, my sisters have always supported me. Seven of my closest friends actually came to watch me compete in Oklahoma City for Miss Oklahoma Teen USA. Being able to share that experience with them is something I will never forget.” 

Finding the time for school, sorority life, friends, and keeping your mental health in check can be difficult.  Doing all these things among the task of preparing for the competition and competing itself can all be worth it when you earn the crown and title after maintaining the balance. 

“It’s all about time management and prioritizing what’s in for you. I always make sure to prioritize things that mean the most to me,” Hurst said.  “My friends, my family, and my face all come first. Then, anything after that comes second. You have to be ok with saying no sometimes and giving up things that you love for the people you love. Sometimes it’s hard, and you don’t understand for a while, but God‘s plan is for you. You just have to keep the same and keep on pushing. But at the end of the day, you can make all of your dreams from reality.”