I’m not going to lie; being back at school right now is the last thing I want. I had a great break catching up with my family and friends. Once again, I was reminded how much I love my hometown. It has become harder and harder to leave as the weather gets colder and the holidays draw nearer. Hugging my parents bye was difficult, but resuming classes has been just as trying.
Maybe it is a pure lack of motivation or seasonal depression, but I am somehow simultaneously bored and anxious. Finals are around the corner, so I am itching to prepare, but it is not dead week. I have nothing to do; therefore, I should seek out a task. Yet, I have no desire to move from my bed. I took a 1 hour and 45-minute nap today and awoke to the darkness outside. Tru Fru and coffee comforted me from the vivid dreams greeting my sleeping mind.
I have concluded that I am, at times, my own biggest stressor in my life. In the absence of anxiety, I find myself searching for it. A rapidly beating heart and whirring thoughts can be somewhat second nature. During times like this, I must remind myself that it’s okay to enjoy the calm, even if it is before the storm. Life is what it is. Sometimes you need a break. Or coffee and a nap.
