featured image: Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash
The last blog spoke about the fake love between Nick and Jordan. This blog explores a different kind of bad love: toxicity. In The Great Gatsby, there is one relationship that is more toxic than all the others. Tom and Daisy Buchanan were married young. They came from similar backgrounds and social classes and were deemed the perfect fit. Tom was everything that Daisy wanted at the time, he was young, rich, and a force.
The basis of everything told to the readers about Tom and Daisy comes from Nick and what his perception of them. They are labeled as the young, rich, old money couple of East Egg. They were the more affluent and better looking counterparts to Nick and Jordan. While Gatsby describes the rich and luxurious style of new money, Tom and Daisy represent the classic and classy style of new money. However, their relationship seems to be much more than just social class distinctions. Daisy falls in love with Tom or so the readers are told.
In order to get a glimpse into the relationship of Tom and Daisy, I think it best to examine certain quotes from different chapters. This way it will be easy to understand what their relationship is based on and to examine their relationship from the perspective of Nick. While Nick does not know their inner thoughts, he can still offer plenty of observation based on the experiences he has with them.
“This was a permanent move, said Daisy over the telephone, but I didn’t believe it—I had no sight into Daisy’s heart, but I felt that Tom would drift on forever seeking, a little wistfully, for the dramatic turbulence of some irrecoverable football game.”
The Great Gatsby Chapter 1
This quote gives insight into the fact that maybe Tom will never settle with Daisy. He does not see Daisy as an end goal, just a reward along the way. He wants something else. Daisy thinks Tom is her everything at least for the moment. She does not appear to cheat on Tom with anyone Tom cheats within a week of their wedding. He does not see Daisy as someone worth staying loyal to. Perhaps he sees her only as an achievement, a wife to whom he does not need to have any further responsibility.
“It seemed to me that the thing for Daisy to do was to rush out of the house, child in arms—but apparently there were no such intentions in her head.”
The Great Gatsby Chapter 1
I am not quite sure what Nick has seen within this first visit that warrants this response but I presume that Tom and Daisy’s marriage does not appear very wonderful. Nick makes this judgment about their relationship after his initial visit to Tom and Daisy. He has not even been around them for long and already sees Tom as a threat to his cousin. Tom comes across as very masculine and to a further degree aggressive in his masculinity. Obviously, his aggression has not been hidden well enough for Nick to not notice it. Nick must have seen that Tom could hurt Daisy or that he had been hurting Daisy. Perhaps Nick just saw that Daisy was unhappy and wanted her to ask more of herself in life. For whatever reason, Nick makes this comment.
“Making a short deft movement, Tom Buchanan broke her nose with his open hand.”
The Great Gatsby Chapter 2
Nick sees another glimpse of Tom’s aggression when he goes with Tom to see Myrtle. Tom gets drunk or perhaps just tipsy and upon the mention of Daisy, he breaks Myrtle’s nose. Tom has already established himself as someone with a temper but the fact his temper comes out in the form of violence means that he is not a safe person. There is no telling if Daisy ever felt his wrath through this or if he had some boundary with her because she was so much smaller.
“or whatever it was that kept them together”
The Great Gatsby Chapter 9
The last chapter of The Great Gatsby shows that Tom and Daisy are still together by some extraordinary means. Nick cannot fathom why they are still together but he does mention that their staying together was unique because it was something nobody expected them both to commit to. Daisy obviously desires more in life but cannot see past her wealth and normalcy to realize how bad of a situation she has put herself in. Tom seems to realize that Daisy has a mind of her own and can leave him whenever she wants. While he does not seem to love her, he does recognize that in order for her to stay he must show her more attention. Maybe that is why Daisy is so performative because the one person in her life who she is supposed to count on will not even acknowledge her.
To break away from the relationship of Tom and Daisy in The Great Gatsby and return to Korea, there is a song that speaks of a toxic love the kind that comes from selfishness. The girl group Mamamoo released their song Egotistic with this sort of idea in mind. Upon examination of the song according to the Genius lyrics, it can be seen that the singer’s whole world revolves around this one person. However, this person does not give the same effort in the relationship instead also focuses on themselves. The lyrics near the second verse, “I foolishly adjusted to you and it’s torturing me/Making me lonely till the end” bring to mind the experience of Daisy living with Tom. She has made her life revolve around her husband and it has cost her a lot. Only she gets hurt in the end. Daisy never explicitly mentions that she is lonely but with a husband that is often away and a child that she does not actually raise it can be said that she must be lonely.
