This past week, I took an online autism test. Although I know that I don’t have autism, autism is still something that is very relevant to me and something that I know a lot a lot about. My brother was diagnosed with Aspergers (on the autism spectrum) when he was very young. For lack of a better term, he is very high-functioning and very intelligent, but autism has still impacted his life in many ways.
My eldest brother, Benjamin, was born in Muskogee, Oklahoma to Muscogee (some might know them as Creek) American Indian parents. Our biological parents adopted him through Catholic Adoption Agencies with the help of ICWA (Indian Child Welfare Act) which provided guidance to the state about my brother’s adoption and ensured that he was placed in the custody of another Native American (my dad — my mom too, although she is white) and that he would live with a Native American family (mine).
From an early age, it was apparent that Ben was different. Before he could even speak he had an obsession with trains and cars and by the time I was born and brought home from the hospital, Ben inquired to our mother, in some of his first words, “Where are his wheels?”.
When he started preschool, he had trouble sitting at his desk all day. He was always on the move, much to the disdain of his teacher, whom our grandmother has affectionately named “that ******* teacher”. It’s a tad bit scary to fathom the lengths our grandma is willing to go to protect us.
Ben, even still to this day, tends to go through phases that have lasted anywhere from 6 months to a couple of years, in which he and his personality become completely consumed by one pretty niche interest. As I mentioned earlier, Ben was obsessed with all things wheels when he was younger. He somehow managed to take the training wheels off of his bike when he was less than 2 years old and frightened our parents when they realized he had zipped away on his bike into the savage, unchartered neighborhood (the cul-de-sac across the street) — he was a true escape autist. Also, the memory of his toy train “derailing”, flying down the stairs, and smacking my uncle square in the head is a perennial favorite amongst the McPhersons. I can remember the springs and summers when Ben and my dad took storm-chasing classes at the National Weather Center and I was lucky enough to tag along on some “chases” (I think we can admit in retrospect, they had no idea what they were doing). The best part of this phase of Ben’s was the automatic trip to Tio’s Mexican restaurant after the storm had made its way out of the metro.
Ben has brought so much joy into our lives. We have so many “Ben stories” and any time we recount them, everyone laughs like they’ve never heard a joke before. A particular favorite of my mom’s is when Ben sincerely asked for an air guitar for Christmas. Once, my dad was consoling an admittedly minorly injured Ben and he asked Ben if there was anything he needed. Ben, seemingly no longer in pain from touching a hot pan, thought for a while and with a straight face replied “I need a child-sized skateboard”. None of us kids have ever skated before, and the difference between a normal skateboard and a child-sized skateboard is unknown to me, but it must’ve been high on Ben’s Christmas list that year.
Ben’s experience hasn’t been all positive, however. His autism has been a challenge that he is constantly overcoming, but he has always managed to come out on top. He doesn’t let his autism hold him bad and I find that admirable.
Ben is now 23 years old, and although he never attended college, he has a full-time job and spends his time doing all the things that he enjoys.