Part 1: Writing/Revision as Inquiry
1. How is this Conference Draft in a conversation with Unit 2 Issues – Focuses – Themes – Concerns AND the Essay 2 prompt? How do I know? How can I tell?
This conference draft focuses on mannequins as uncanny body doubles. It frames a stance on the objectification of women as a result of their portrayal in the fashion and modeling industry. It also centralizes on the doll-like portrayal of women in media, and how this renders them as artificial rather than real. This conference draft examines how the uncanny identicalness between model and mannequin produces problems for women in the real world. I can tell that this conference draft is in conversation with Unit 2 Issues through it’s use of keyterms (such as uncanny/body doubles/objectification/artificial/realistic etc.) and its use of Unit 2 course readings.
2. Which Unit 2 readings-authors is this draft in conversation with? How would you describe the parameters of that conversation?
This conference draft is in conversation with Sara K. Schneider’s “The Case of Female Fashion Mannequins,” Caroline Evans “Ontology of the Fashion Model,” Carol Ann Duffy’s “Standing Nude Female,” Jean Rhys’s “Mannequin,” and Marina Warner’s “On the Threshold: Sleeping Beauties.” Schneider’s and Evans texts are synthesized, as are Duffy’s poem and Rhys’s short story. I chose to synthesize Warner’s article with the story of Snow White, since they go hand in hand. All Unit 2 readings are used to expand on the objectification of women in the fashion industry and in the media.
3. What is my Motive for choosing this focus/argument? i.e. why do I feel that these issues of concern and/or my argument about them are important? Why should an audience find my focus – concerns – argument important? Who is this Audience I’m writing to/for/to engage?
My motive for choosing my argument stemmed from Unit 2 course readings, specifically “Standing Female Nude” and “The Case of the Female Fashion Model.” After reading both texts, I became interested in the uncanny relationship between model and mannequin. Why has society became so fixated on replicating the body of a mannequin on a woman, when the mannequin was created to replicate a woman? I feel that it’s important to bring attention to the issues that burden women as a result of mannequins and wax figures. If they had never been created would women still be objectified today? An audience should find my concerns important because these are issues are are overlooked everyday. I feel that my essay targets the people within the fashion and media industry, so that perhaps they become aware of the idealized image they create for women.
4. To what extent/degree am I compelled to make, do I care about, or do I wish to advocate for my argument aka what is my Stance position? To what elements of my positionality does my Stance relate?
My stance position is on mannequins as uncanny body doubles. Mannequins as uncanny body doubles relates to my positionality, the effect the fashion and modeling industry has on women/objectification of women, because both industries create false images of women, much like mannequins do. Mannequins are responsible for the unrealistic expectations they created for a woman’s body. In the fashion industry, many models have the mannequin look. However, the mannequin is based off of a model’s appearance, so which is which? This is where the uncanny arises, and where my stance relates to my argument.
5. How am I using Freud’s essay on “The Uncanny” as a Lens Text to frame my argument? What IS my argument? (paraphrase your Evolving Thesis)
In my essay Freud’s essay on “The Uncanny” is used to set up my thesis statement. It frames the uncanny relationship between a woman and her body, which ties back to mannequins and models. Evolving thesis: “The inanimate displays of women in media and in the fashion industry invites society to externalize them as objects of their own imagination.”
6. What are the major Keyterms that are important to contextualizing/framing my focus for this essay?
Mannequins/models/objectification/fantasy/imagination/inanimate/realistic/artificial/beauty standards/uncanny/display
7. Have I used? / How have I used ACE Stance Paragraph/s + ACE Stance Synthesis Paragraphs in this Conference Draft? How do I need to revise them to better support or organize my argument in this essay? What handouts might help me to do this?
I have used ACE Stance Paragraphs/Synthesis Pragraphs to synthesize Unit 2 course readings, such as “The Case of the Female Fashion Model” and “Ontology of the Fashion Model.” I feel like I need to use ACE Stance Synthesis Paragraphs to synthesize my outside sources to Unit 2 readings, and to analyze the connection between the two. The handout “paragraphing and A.C.E pdf” might help me do this.
8. What kinds of evidence am I using/citing from the Unit 2 sources/course readings? What outside source (personal experience or observation) am I using and how? As evidence to complement other cited evidence from Unit 2 readings? As a Hook to get my audience’s attention? As a Hook to narrow the focus of the essay’s argument?
For my outside sources, I used an article over a glass box photoshoot supermodel Bella Hadid did, and I also used the depiction of Snow White in her glass coffin. I correlated the two to explain the uncanniness of placing a woman inside a glass containment, and how this renders them as objects to society looking in. From the Unit 2 sources I am using the articles/short stories/poems that present a relationship between a model and mannequin. I use evidence from those sources that depicts the moments in which women feel temporarily objectified in their own body. Throughout the essay, I try to synthesize my evidence to create stronger support to my essay’s argument.
9. What do I need to do from this point onward to meet the requirements for the Essay 2 Conference Draft to further develop my Conference Draft into an In-Between-Draft OR to evolve my Conference Draft into a Revision-in-Progress? [This question helps you to create a revision plan for your Essay 2 Conference]
From this point forward I need to synthesize my outside sources to Unit 2 readings. I also need to review ACE Stance Paragraphs to create a better analysis of my evidence and argument. It would also be helpful to review the stitching and transitions handout, since I like transitions in my draft.
10. What questions do I want to ask myself as the writer of this draft? What questions do I want to ask my Conference Draft? What questions do I want to ask Dr. Mintler? What questions do I want to ask any of the Unit 2 Course Readings? What questions do I want
to ask the assignment handout?
Does my essay flow well? Am I staying on topic with the argument and stance I have presented? Does my evidence correlate to my argument, and does it support it? How can I create better stitch transitions between paragraphs?
Part B: Writing as Translation: Write a Letter to Another Person about Your Unit 2 Conference Draft?
Mom, Hello! I hope you’re doing well. I’m writing to you to give you a short description about my Unit 2 Conference Draft. I have decided to write about mannequins as an uncanny body double, and how they create issues for women within the fashion industry and within media. You see, the mannequin was originally created to imitate models, but now models are conditioned to imitate mannequins. The reliance of the fashion industry and media on the image of a woman’s body that mannequins have created arises issues for women in the real world. It objectifies them and renders them vulnerable to the imaginations and fantasies of society. I think it is quite an interesting focus for my essay and I’m very excited for you to read it. Hope you’re doing well
Part C: Writing/Revision as Metacognitive Self Reflection
Answering the provided questions has helped my view my stance and argument as someone who is reading my paper. This is important because it tells me what aspects of my essays I need to focus in on. For example, maybe there’s some analyzation that doesn’t do a very good job at synthesizing two sources, or a source to my argument. I have learned how all the components of my essay go hand in hand. I’ve learned that the synthesis of my sources I have now is good, but that I should work on expanding the sources separately so I can explain how they individually relate to my argument. Writing an informal letter translating my ideas helps me better understand how they all relate to each other. This is helpful for my ultimate formal analysis because it creates organization within my paper.