Hello hello hello! Whoever, wherever, or whatever (lol) you are… thank you for being here & for reading these little words. It means more to me than you could ever possibly know.
Y’all, I have been questioning what the Lord is doing with and through me recently. I feel distracted, unhealthy, homesick, and kind of a mess, tbh! (& I cannot stand messes…!!!) Do you ever feel a little lost in your purpose? Or maybe just a bit insignificant in this great big world full of incredible humans? I’m overwhelmed by the strains of the battle between my head telling me to strive and my heart leading me to Jesus. I feel like I’m not doing enough, but I don’t even know what enough is! I have zero idea what the future looks like, or even what tomorrow looks like, and yet everyone else calls me “put together!” If only they knew… 😉
Negative feeling dump OVER; now it’s time to share how God is turning all of this messy into GOOD!
I do not have all the answers, and the Lord truly is still doing a majorrrr work on my heart, but I’m realizing that all this messiness in my mind, body, & life may just be His sweet way of humbling me. I’ve always been an achiever (type 3 wya), but now that I’m a tiny fish in a big sea of studs, I’m seeing that my lil high school achievements in no way measure up. I feel out-done even by my closest friends; but… maybe His purpose for me isn’t to achieve all the things that don’t even fulfill me. Maybe I’m just as valued by God for my heart, and not my resume. Maybe Heaven cheers me on just as loud when I love my people well as It does when I’m strutting on a stage. Maybe… I’m still working through this, honestly.
Speaking of hard things I’m working through, the Lord has also humbled my heart through a reminder about hard work. I’m constantly dreaming of the life I want to live, how I want to look, the job/accolades/achievements I want to have, and yet I’m for sure not dreaming of the time, dedication, sacrifice, and diligence it takes to get there! I’m a bit embarrassed to say that I’ve been coasting this semester; not working, enjoying easy classes, & probably online shopping a little too much. Looking back, I haven’t spent my time as intentionally as I should have. I was so excited about this blog, and yet it’s been at the bottom of my priority list all semester. While I wish I could go back and change the way I’ve stewarded some of the blessings the Lord has given me, I am trying to not be hard on myself, but recognize my need for Jesus to help change my ways by His Grace.
I’m not going to wake up tomorrow a completely new girl, but I will wake up and seek the Lord with my whole heart, asking Him to continue to refine, humble, and revive me to make me more like Jesus. Sweet friends, I promise you, no matter what you see on the outside or the Instagram feed, we all are fighting messy battles that are usually unseen. And when fighting these battles, all we can do is put on the full armor of God, put in our pearl earrings, and take it one. step. at. a. time.
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
Ephesians 6:10-11
When we embrace the humbling refinement that God gently brings us through, we can choose to steward well the little Kingdom that He has placed in our care, wether that be an education, family, friends, sorority, club, or even blog! When we walk in our identity of daughters of the King, we get to be the princess of our own little Kingdom. How sweet is that?
This post was honest, vulnerable, & oh so refreshing to share. My heart already feels lighter, and definitely humbled.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, & FOR BEING YOU!
Leave your favorite Bible verse in the comments! 😉
Simply,
Sydney
