Simply, Sydney

live joyful. live intentional. live simple.

Tag: feminine Page 1 of 2

18 Things I learned being 18

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In Lifestyle

Well, hey there!! This month, I reached my 19th trip around the sun, and I’m feeling pretty dang blessed to be exactly where I am in life right now. This year has brought upon a whole new chapter of growing up, For the past few years, I’ve spent some time reflecting on the last year of my life in my journal, but this year, I thought I’d share on my lil corner of the internet!

  1. Jesus is the only constant, and He is so perfectly enough.
  2. If I play my cards right, I can keep my hair curled for about 5 days!
  3. Seasons are just that- seasons. Nothing ever stays the same, so enjoy right where God places you.
  4. And if you’re in a winter-ish season, spring always comes quicker than you think!
  5. Food is fuel and ice cream is never a bad idea.
  6. Boys are fun, but not the epitome of life! I’d rather wait on prince charming than kiss some frogs…!
  7. Keep on waiting for true, genuine, and reciprocal friendships… your girls are out there!!!!
  8. Virtue is so so so important; what we think, feel, and even do when no one is watching demonstrates the pureness if our heart. While no one is perfect, it is essential to hold your character to a higher standard than the world.
  9. Everything worthwhile is uphill.
  10. Your family deserves the same respect, effort, and grace that you pour into your friendships.
  11. Lipgloss and an iced coffee can turn any day around!
  12. There will be days that you go to bed wishing you did something, or even everything, differently. We can’t go back and change the past, but we can always do the next right thing.
  13. Everyone around you has a story, and it is always worth it to discover it.
  14. Joy is a choice & goodness is found where you look for it!!!
  15. Comparison, envy, and pride sneak in where there is the greatest opportunity for genuine friendship and community. Don’t let them rule you!
  16. Change is scary, but oh-so worth it.
  17. Life is fun when you make it fun!!!!!
  18. Gratitude is everything; life changes when you view it as a blessing.

Just a few thoughts about this sweet chapter that came to a close. I got to celebrate my birthday with sweet friends and my incredibly perfect family. My heart is so full!! 🙂

Remember to count your blessings today!!! Even if that just means getting to wake up this morning.

Simply,

Sydney

Rock What the Good Lord Gave Ya ;)

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In Faith, Lifestyle

Good morning party people!!! I am coming at you live Tuesday morning, bright and early, with a little bit of inspiration to throw your way.

I have mastered the art of curling my hair since the literal 4th grade. I can do it with my eyes closed, without a mirror, and in 12 min flat. I consider it a talent of mine! The number one compliment I receive is about my hair; I feel like it’s become a bit of a trademark to the whole Sydney Bush look ;)))

What many people don’t know is that I actually have naturally very curly hair! No one in my stick-straight haired family knows where the heck it came from, but it’s definitely there.

exhibit A: goofy library selfie 😉

I remember being in elementary school and feeling so insecure about how big and frizzy my hair was compared to the other girls in my class (no wonder I love Hermione Granger!), I would have my mom help me put it in sponge rollers, braids, buns, ponytails, and anything else that would make it poof down!!

When I got a bit older, I discovered the curling iron and learned how to make my hair look smooth, cute, and polished without any of the frizz!! This became part of my daily routine, something I latched on to to make myself feel more put together. Soon, I noticed that I got more compliments and attention from boys when my hair was “fixed!” Looking back, I see that this is the point in my adolescence that I started to place my identity in my outer appearance, and the way others perceived my outer appearance. Simply curling my hair is in no way a bad thing, but this also led to a fixation with makeup, selfies, and a “me me me” centered mindset that was nothing short of vain.

I also truly believe in stewarding well what the Lord has given us, taking care of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, and reflecting the beauty of our hearts through our outward appearance. I am a girly girl to the MAX and have always absolutely loved makeup, hair care, and fashion! But where does the line lie between expressing our God-given femininity and pridefully flaunting our looks? What I’m learning is that it all comes down to the source of our identity.

Here’s the difference; when I am placing my identity in the hands of the world, I never feel “good-enough.” I am left feeling drained, desolate, and very down. But when I turn to the Bible and read the consistent truth about who God says I am, the purpose He made me for, and the goodness of His Son, I am filled to the brim with appreciation for the beauty He so specifically and intentionally gave me- just as He did ALL of y’all!

Be encouraged, sweet friends, that our hearts are seen by the Lord, and He calls them beautiful. Not because of our innate goodness, but because of His perfect son, Jesus! All that beauty will shine through when you place your joy, trust, and confidence in God. And the natural curls, freckles, or whatever else you got is just a cherry on top!!!

Post coming SOON about my hair care routine + my deserted-on-a-desert-island hair products and tools!

Simply,

Sydney

A Humbled Heart…

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In Faith

Hello hello hello! Whoever, wherever, or whatever (lol) you are… thank you for being here & for reading these little words. It means more to me than you could ever possibly know.

Y’all, I have been questioning what the Lord is doing with and through me recently. I feel distracted, unhealthy, homesick, and kind of a mess, tbh! (& I cannot stand messes…!!!) Do you ever feel a little lost in your purpose? Or maybe just a bit insignificant in this great big world full of incredible humans? I’m overwhelmed by the strains of the battle between my head telling me to strive and my heart leading me to Jesus. I feel like I’m not doing enough, but I don’t even know what enough is! I have zero idea what the future looks like, or even what tomorrow looks like, and yet everyone else calls me “put together!” If only they knew… 😉

Negative feeling dump OVER; now it’s time to share how God is turning all of this messy into GOOD!

thx God for this lil bit of Good… long walks to OnCue for HotChoc!

I do not have all the answers, and the Lord truly is still doing a majorrrr work on my heart, but I’m realizing that all this messiness in my mind, body, & life may just be His sweet way of humbling me. I’ve always been an achiever (type 3 wya), but now that I’m a tiny fish in a big sea of studs, I’m seeing that my lil high school achievements in no way measure up. I feel out-done even by my closest friends; but… maybe His purpose for me isn’t to achieve all the things that don’t even fulfill me. Maybe I’m just as valued by God for my heart, and not my resume. Maybe Heaven cheers me on just as loud when I love my people well as It does when I’m strutting on a stage. Maybe… I’m still working through this, honestly.

Speaking of hard things I’m working through, the Lord has also humbled my heart through a reminder about hard work. I’m constantly dreaming of the life I want to live, how I want to look, the job/accolades/achievements I want to have, and yet I’m for sure not dreaming of the time, dedication, sacrifice, and diligence it takes to get there! I’m a bit embarrassed to say that I’ve been coasting this semester; not working, enjoying easy classes, & probably online shopping a little too much. Looking back, I haven’t spent my time as intentionally as I should have. I was so excited about this blog, and yet it’s been at the bottom of my priority list all semester. While I wish I could go back and change the way I’ve stewarded some of the blessings the Lord has given me, I am trying to not be hard on myself, but recognize my need for Jesus to help change my ways by His Grace.

I’m not going to wake up tomorrow a completely new girl, but I will wake up and seek the Lord with my whole heart, asking Him to continue to refine, humble, and revive me to make me more like Jesus. Sweet friends, I promise you, no matter what you see on the outside or the Instagram feed, we all are fighting messy battles that are usually unseen. And when fighting these battles, all we can do is put on the full armor of God, put in our pearl earrings, and take it one. step. at. a. time.

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

Ephesians 6:10-11

When we embrace the humbling refinement that God gently brings us through, we can choose to steward well the little Kingdom that He has placed in our care, wether that be an education, family, friends, sorority, club, or even blog! When we walk in our identity of daughters of the King, we get to be the princess of our own little Kingdom. How sweet is that?

This post was honest, vulnerable, & oh so refreshing to share. My heart already feels lighter, and definitely humbled.

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, & FOR BEING YOU!

Leave your favorite Bible verse in the comments! 😉

Simply,

Sydney

GOD IS THERE!! IN ALL THE THINGS!!!

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In Faith

Hiiiiiii!!! You guys, I’m not sure exactly why, but God has been so so so real and present with me recently. I was in the car yesterday and truly just letting my mind and heart seek Him without distraction (you know, besides the road…) and I was actually blown away by His sweet presence.

I had this vision in my head where I went through alllllll the tiny things (that seem so big at the time) my mind stresses over, and then the realization that He has carried me through every. single. day. and every. single. trial. that I have ever faced. He has worked everything for the good of His Kingdom, and the good of His Kingdom is the only fulfillment my heart really seeks.

Everyday has the possibility to be a great one when we walk hand in hand with the Father!! Especially if your day includes yummy coffee 😉


If our good & gracious Heavenly Father has already proven Himself by being so truly evident in every moment of my life thus far, why do I excessively doubt and worry about the things I know His hands are on? Why do we all do this? Welllll, I prayed a prayer that for sure isn’t perfect, but definitely was good for my soul.


I said “God, thank You SO much for making Your good good self so evident to me right now. I see You everywhere and the evidence of Your goodness is all over my life. I know You are real, almighty, and love me despite my sins, all because of Your Son Jesus. I pray that while I feel high on a mountain top right now, You remind me of this moment when I am in the valley, and show me Your consistency even when I lack it. I pray that my faith is not based upon my feelings and circumstances, because You know those change in a snap, but that it is based only upon my core belief in the Truth of who You are and Your goodness.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

And those who know Your name put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

Psalm 9:10


Thank the Lord I prayed this prayer, because literally the next day I found myself in a completely different state of mind, circumstance, and health. Even though I was notttttt feeling on the mountain top, I honestly thought back to that car ride and was reminded of then Lord’s constant pursuit of my heart in the middle of the messy. He wants to take my burdens and turn what the Enemy meant for evil for GOOD. All I have to do it let Him. And that is all you have to do too, sweet friends! Easier said than done I know, but we’ll grow in that together :))


I’m praying for every single person that reads this, that you are filled with the Holy Spirit and see the Lord moving and working in the small things that you worry about.


Comment any and all prayer requests!!!!

Simply,

Sydney

My Tips on living BALANCED & HEALTHY in College!

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In Lifestyle

Hiya!! I hope whenever and wherever you’re reading this, you’re smiling 🙂

Today’s post is all about some practical and realistic ways to live a happy & healthy lifestyle while in the midst of alllll the college craziness. This season of life is nothing short of hectic; change seems to be the only constant, and a new environment creates many an opportunity to neglect the necessary stability our mind and body craves.

Cutie pic from my walk yesterday.. I just love October!!!

My broken road to health is a story for a later time, but sweet friends, I would love to encourage you for just a moment: the Lord designed us not to be perfect, but to reflect His perfect image. He does not desire us to rigorously train our bodies to look a way that He did not design, or to frugally dwell on every bite we take. This is a sweet life that Jesus died so we could live; our striving for excessive control limits our ability to rejoice and walk in the freedom He gave us.

I am by NO means an expert in the vast field of nutrition/wellness/etc. (and my friends will tell you how huge my sweet tooth is…), but I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite practices to foster a little bit of balance during the frantic freshman experience.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, who you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with you bodies.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
  • Try to get your body up and moving every day!! While I used to be a bit more rigorous when it came to my exercise routine, I am learning to appreciate the ebs and flows of physical fitness, and trying to not put so much pressure on cramming a workout into my busy day if it does not fit into my schedule. Don’t get me wrong- I love a good sweat sesh, but sometimes a nice long walk around campus is just what my body needs:)
  • EAT YOUR FRUITS & VEGGIES!!! This is harder in college than it was at home, but I’ve learned how, where, and when I can get the nutrients that help me thrive with full capacity
  • Stay flexible with spontaneous plans! Go to ice cream or Insomnia with your friends- the extra calories are worth the extra memories. I promise. Ice cream is goooooooood for the soul :)))
  • Take advantage of your walks to class- put your AirPods in and a little pep in your step! Closes those Apple Watch rings real fast lol
  • On that note- take the stairs!!! (says the girl on floor 9…) A quick way to get your heart pumping!
  • On the side of mental health… sister, read your bible. Nothing else will fill the void in your heart but Jesus- trust me.. I’ve tried it all! Get into the Word & talk to Jesus like He’s your friend, because He is! When we invite Him into every aspect of our lives, our King of Kings works and intervenes on your behalf, for your good, and for His eternal glory. Don’t undermine this power!!!!!!!!!
  • Sleeeeeeeeeeeep!!! People really rag on me for going to bed early, but I just have realized how important sleep is to me, personally! Rest is so necessary and yet so neglected in “hustle culture.”

In vain you rise early and stay up late… for He grants sleep to His beloved.

psalm 127:2
  • Stay hydrated! Guys, water is legit so good for you AND it is so fun to drink out of a cutie cup! SO fun!
  • KEEP UP UR HYGENE. Don’t be the person that smells bad in the elevator… lol but this also means taking care of your hair, skin, nails, laundry, sheets, etc. etc. !!! Clean = calm 🙂
  • Get out of your dorm!!!! Study with friends! Go on walks! Go to dinner with your neighbors! It is soooo easy to get so stressed & overwhelmed that you isolate yourself- but life is so much sweeter in community.
  • Call your mom!!! Do it. FaceTime her. Right now. It will make her day & yours.
  • Eat an apple! SO random but literally I eat one every day.. so yummy, full of fiber, and gives me energy!!!
  • SKINNY POP AND OATMEAL. Need I say more ??
  • Steal bananas from The Caf LOL

There you have it! Some of my realistic ways of living a healthy and balanced life in COLLEGE! So fun! So worth it! Now go treat your body like the temple of the Holy Spirit that it is ;))

Simply,

Sydney

ON KINDNESS.

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In Faith

I had a totally different blog post planned for today (how I eat healthy & balanced in college coming soon!🥳) but the Lord has just put something else entirely on my heart!


Kindness seems like the most basic of human qualities, but I’m learning that is actually the most powerful. It sometimes feels like it’s dwindling in this world, and sometimes like it’s overflowing. Today, for me, it feels overflowing, and I’m inspired to keep it going!


The beauty of kindness is that it is a ripple effect. One act of kindness inspires another, and so on and so on, until the world is just a bit brighter and our friendships are a bit sweeter!


I think sometimes there is a stigma around kindness; I’ve been called a suck-up for doing something sweet… it was pretty discouraging. There are some people who view generosity of heart with a self-seeking perspective, and honestly, I’ve found myself thinking those same thoughts, fueled by jealousy and insecurity of my own character. Thank God that He changes our hearts and purifies our sinful motives, because Lord knows I need it.
When reflecting on kindness this past week, my mind goes towards the ultimate act of kindness- Jesus dying on the cross to save us from our sins, just because God loved us so so so much. God is so kind, and sometimes I forget that because I’m so focused on how I can be seen, heard, loved, admired, etc. etc. in this world. God is so so so kind, He gave us hearts that when turned toward Him, allow us to want to show that kindness to others. That is so unfathomly beautiful!

“For you were called to freedom, brothers (& SISTERS). Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love, serve one another.

Galations 5:13

Sooooo what are some tangible ways that we can live out our calling to freedom and love by serving each other??? Wellllll, let’s break this down!

  • Leave a friend a sweet/encouraging/funny sticky note! (MY FAV)
  • Offer someone a ride!
  • Bring someone coffee, donuts, candy, etc. etc. etc. (sweets and coffee are my love language….)
  • GENUINE COMPLIMENTS
  • Giving someone your full attention when they are speaking
  • Smile at people you pass by!
  • Let your passenger play the music in the car while you’re driving
  • Walk with someone to class, even if it’s out of your way
  • Speak LIFE over people! Encourage encourage encourage. Let your words build up the people around you; cheer your friends (and not-so-friends) on with a pure heart, no matter what your insecurities are making you feel

Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Proverbs 16:24
  • Start a nice conversation while you and another person are awkwardly riding the elevator together
  • Call a friend you normally don’t talk to just to ask about their day
  • Remember the things that people choose to share with you, & then follow up later on!!!! This shows that you care 🙂
  • Offer someone your seat, your jacket, your pen, etc. (my friend Madison is amazing at this, she levels up the friendship game!)
  • PRAY for + over the people in your life. There is nothing more powerful, kind, or selfless than prayer. When we seek, ask, and knock, the Lord hears us and answers us!!! I am trying to start praying over my loved ones more.

There are so many more ways to show a little bit of extra kindness each day! When we start to focus on the good we can do, the bad starts to fade to the background. Let’s all try to be a good friend today!!!

Simply,

Sydney

My Favorite Comfort Movies!

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In Lifestyle

Not gonna lie here, guys… I do not have the most sophisticated movie taste. While I love a film that will make me think and grow and challenge myself, most of the time, I watch movies to give my brain a break from thinking about the hard stuff of life!
My mom and sister both love deeper movies, or ones with a… darker… plot line (do not make me watch a horror movie. I will cry and scream and run away. legit)!
One of my favoriteee things is cuddling up with no phone, lights off, skinny pop, and a great movie that just makes me HAPPY and INSPIRED about life and love again!!
Soooooo, here is a list of a few of the movies that make my heart happy 🙂

Valentine’s Day!!!! Random movie, but one of my all-time favorites. Never fails to make me happy! And jam-packed full of CELEBS! Fun fact Taylor Lautner is my celeb crush #one #free #pass
Any old Disney movie definitely makes the comfort-list.. alllll the warm and fuzzy feels here!!! Cinderella has been my favorite since I was a little girl- reminds me of the power of a kind & generous heart ❤️
Ok this is a new fav of mine- I just watched this at a sweet friend’s house and we all DIED because of the cheesiness overload!!!! SO. STINKIN. CUTE. Also the main British guy>>>
ANY HALLMARK-TYPE CHRISTMAS MOVIE EVER. On repeat from Oct 31-Dec 25th… nothing makes me giddier!!!! It’s my pipe dream to be in a Hallmark Christmas Movie one day…
13 Going on 30!! Classic feel good movie, cutest romance story, best fashion, I could go on and on and on!
Forever and ever will love this movie- nothing gets me dancing like this soundtrack!! I grew up with my mom playing ABBA alllllll the time- so this is such a sweet story to me!
Literally this is so random but this specific remake of the Sound of Music is my FAV!!! I always used to watch it when I was sick so it just is super nostalgic for me! Loooooove Carrie Underwood too so
OK if you know me then you know… I am obsessed. And not ashamed. Will never turn down a Harry Potter marathon.

Alright folks, that’s it for today!! If you’re ever in a funky mood, consider turning on one of these sweet stories and let your heart be happy in another world for a bit ☺️

Simply,

Sydney



Little Things That Made Me Happy This Week

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In Lifestyle

Hiiii, Y’all!! I hope whoever is reading this has a smile on their face, but if not, maybe you will by the end of this lil post! 🙂
This past week has been DIFFICULT & sort of a BUMMER for me… I’ve been sicky and I hate being sick!! Especially now that I’m in college.. my mom isn’t here to take care of me! 🙁

this week sponsored by messy buns, Jesus, & Body Armor


This new week is here, and I’m determined to not let my physical circumstances steal my joy… soooo, I’m going to a compile a list all week of all the things (big or small) that made me smile each day, and post this on Friday! Join me in this next week, if ya want to!

MONDAY:

  • an iced green tea latte with oat milk and SF vanilla from Starbucks!! Perfect pick-me-up
  • sweet friendships that are beginning to solidify 🙂
  • made good progress on a research paper that I’m currently writing!
  • a BUCS boy handed me a rose at chapter!
  • at chapter, a cutie friend nominated me for Theta of the Week and wrote the SWEETEST message to me that was read in front of everyone! Really made me feel seen in a week that I felt overlooked… ❤️
  • my walk to Theta for dinner (SUPER YUM) in the sunshine ! Isn’t the big White House BEAUTIFUL?!
hiiiii Theta :)))

TUESDAY:

  • my roomie is HOME after a loooong weekend of being gone.. all is right in the world!
  • we are back on the floor of Phi Delt for USING rehearsals because… THETA MADE THE SHOW! I’m so excited for the opportunity to compete in OU’s University Sing Competition
  • got a sweetie voicemail from a new friend… heart is melted ok ok
  • slept in braids so I woke up with crimpy hair oooo ya

WEDNESDAY:

  • guys not gonna lie this was a hard day 🙂 still feeling super sicky
  • BUT still gonna choose joy !!!
  • saw the drum line perform while walking down the sidewalk!
  • ate a bagel
  • went to bed early
  • sometimes the best part of the day is going to bed!! that is okay!

THURSDAY:

  • went to urgent care and the doctor was super nice 🙂 🙂
  • got a Bondi Bowl last night & saved it for this morning for brekky!! YUMMY
  • only went to one class bc I was at the doctor… ig this is a happy thing ?? ??
  • DALLAS TMRW HOLLA
made this cutie insta story while waiting at urgent care…. #love #reality

FRIDAY:

  • legit had the best day!!!!!! was up bright and early with my sweet friends and drove to D-TOWN BABAY!!!!!
  • had the best intentional and hilarious conversations in the car on the way down 🙂
  • shopped and shopped and shopped and shopped #mydream
  • went to a yummy dinner & then to Billy Bob’s to TWO STEP THE NIGHT AWAY
  • spent the night giggling and cuddling with my best friends… so happy xoxo

I hope y’all had an AMAZING week and chose to find the joy!!! Circumstance wise, these last few days have been rough by being sick & overwhelmed with so much to do!!! But I’m learning that when I keep my eyes on Jesus and live for the happy lil moments, my days are so much sweeter.

Simply,

Sydney

tiny room, BIG FUN!

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In Lifestyle

HI FRIENDS! On this happy Wednesday (well, sort of happy.. I’m feeling a lil crummy and my DayQuil makes me dizzy.. but we are counting our blessings today regardless), I decided to whip up a short & casual post about one of my favoriteeee places- MY DORM ROOM!

Ever since I can remember, I have been decorating, re-decorating, and re-re-decoratng my bedroom; it’s one of my all time favorite things! I love changing things out with the seasons, following new trends, and creating a space that makes me happy, relaxed, and inspired.

Coming into college freshie life, I was honestly really sad about leaving my beloved bedroom at home… I had cultivated it perfectly to the point that it truly felt like me, and it made me super happy!! But, with the help of my amazing mom who has the best taste in the world, and my sweet, down-for-anything roomie, I am just as in love with my dorm room at OU, and am excited for all the memories that will be created in this tinnyyy space!

Here are some of my favorite lil spots in our dorm; I hope they bring you as much joy as they do me, or even inspire you to create your own happy space!

THE ACTUAL COMFIEST BED. Also an actual pain to make each morning!!!! #realitysux
MY DESK!! Not much actual studying gets done here… def acts more as a vanity.. but still a happy space! feat. MY PLANNER AH ILY
lil affirmations + inspirations on the fridge! This is for real super helpful for memorizing a bible verse or just reminding yourself to focus back on TRUTH!
We have this huge cubby shelf where we keep all the cleaning, eating, fixing, etc. things! I LOVE these cute blue floral bins from Target. AND most importantly… we have my Keurig & TREAT JAR LOL!!! Currently holding mini honey biscuits and caramel candies…

I hope y’all enjoyed this little peak into our room! As followers of Christ, I believe it’s important to not only open your heart to others, but also to open your door; let the people that God has placed in your life into your life.. & your space!! He commands us to love our neighbors for a reason!!! And nothing is more an inviting than a smile and a pretty room that fosters true connection and community.

Who is someone that you can invite into your space this week?!

How can you beautify and steward well the environment God has trusted you with?

Simply,

Sydney

When Life is Harder than Expected.

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In Faith

Real talk: I’m a pretty confident person.. or so I thought. Like most of us it seems, high school was a fun, exciting, and breezy experience for the most part that left me feeling high on my horse! Coming into OU as a freshman, I had the perfect ideal of what my college experience would be like. I would ace all my classes, join the sorority of my choosing, have tons of sweet friends, meet a cute guy who loves the Lord and doesn’t talk to 15 other girls who look just like me, get immediately plugged into a church, join every leadership committee available, the list goes on and on.. and honestly, it’s embarrassing!

My list is embarrassing because it really highlights my not-so-humble nature to strive for things that aren’t meant for me, and also because not one of these came true…!

Took this cutie pic with my #friends when I didn’t know half of their names! Reality 🙂

College is FUN, EXCITING, & a huge BLESSING, but honestly, it’s also extremely overwhelming, a boatload of pressure, and makes me feel pretty inadequate most of the time.. not to mention homesick.

I’ve always been a pretty idealistic and optimistic person, but when faced with the reality of my not-so-glamorous college experience so far, I struggled with some depression from being let down by my own unrealistic expectations.

Everyone around me seemed to have everything all figured out, and I felt as if I was flailing, unable to catch my bearings. I didn’t feel worthy of the opportunities I’ve been given. Fear of failure, being disliked, and letting people down completely trapped me in my own brain. I was crying every night to my mom, doubting if college was the right path for me, desperately wanting to come home. The thing is, no one here knew I was feeling this way. I kept all of these dark and negative thoughts in my own head, posing as the confident girl I was known as in high school.

This is when the perfect grace of Jesus comes into play, for He opened my heart to help me realize that this “picture-perfect” life I had envisioned for myself was not from Him. To me, faith means that I trust the Lord’s plan for my life more than I trust my own, and I had completely disregarded this belief in hope that I was the exception! I was so focused on the ways I was insufficient that I forgot that grace means that I am sufficient in Jesus.

Sweet friends, I’m beginning to understand that what’s meant for me will find me because I have a perfect inheritance as a daughter of the King. I don’t need to strive for more, different, or better. Neither do you.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Colossians 3:23-24

God has truly blessed me with health and ability, a small but growing community of family and friends that love me for me, and the opportunity to learn at a wonderful school filled with wonderful people. I don’t know what your blessings are, but I pray that you count them today instead of adding bullet points to your wishlist. Take your blessings and steward them well, working heartily and cheerfully in whatever endeavors, relationships, or experiences that God has placed intentionally in your hands. And I pray we can all lean into the Lord when life is inevitably harder than expected, expecting Him to fill our cup in only the way He can.

To tell the truth, I am still working through many of the struggles I’ve opened up about, and I know that it’s a longggg work-in-progress! But this progress is beautiful in its own way, not by my own actions but because anything that is formed by the good hands of the Lord is beautiful. Opening up about this kind of thing is difficult for me, but oh-so freeing.

Simply,

Sydney

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