While having the opportunity to be in college is one of the biggest blessings I have received, it has also been accompanied by the biggest changes I have endured. It is a lot to get used to changing cities, friends, schools, etc. This transition from high school to college can cause some dissociation in a sense. I have woken up at 6am, gone to school from 8am to 3pm, then to dance classes from 4pm to 7:30pm, then had dinner, did my homework, and went to sleep in my childhood bedroom everyday for 12 years. Until now!!! At first I often asked, “why did I do all of that just to move away and restart?” When in reality, everything I had done up to this point was the building blocks for what I was going to do now.
I write about this not because I think it is some crazy revelation, but because when I went through this feeling of dissociation, it felt as though I was the only one who was. I was seeing everyone around me seemingly find their groups, rushing into Greek life, and loving their roommates while I quite literally had the exact opposite experience. I was so excited leading up to coming here but was met with a lot of disappointment when the dust had settled. It was an exciting day moving in and setting up with my mom and brother then going to eat at The Mont. But when it came time for my family to head home and me head back to my dorm, I was met with the eerie silence of my dark, mostly empty, freezing dorm.
Within the first month of school, 2/4 of my roommates had moved out due to the third girl, so it was just her and I for a while. I had a really crappy restaurant job that my ex boyfriend also worked at and came home everyday to a disgusting dorm. In October, I had enough and ended up quitting that job and emailed the housing office about my situation, getting the problem roommate removed. Since then I have gotten all new roommates and a much better job and it has felt like everything is finally falling into place. I no longer feel like I’m the only person at OU going through these things and all it took was a little time.Â
Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.
John Wooden
The point I wanted to touch on is that it’s okay to feel out of place for a bit while you’re trying to figure these things out and you aren’t the only person here going through it. A lot of your peers will fail to admit when these things happen but it does not mean it isn’t happening to them as well. Figuring out what you want to do with the rest of your life at this age is not an easy task and it is okay to flip your life around to better suit who you have become instead of who you were.
Layla, remember to submit to the Canvas assignment (I’ll say more once you do–& you can unpublish this comment since it’s just an FYI()
Layla, the way you described move-in really hit home with me. It is very hard going from a loud, happy home to a quiet and lonely dorm room. I often find myself feeling very sad when I say my goodbyes after visiting on weekends because it reminds me of move in. How do you think this has changed you? Does it make you feel stronger?
I do think it has. While I do feel a lot more independent now and am used to living here, it makes me appreciate the time I spend at home A LOT more than I had previously.
Coping with college is one of the few things not many want to speak on, as someone who also landed in a situation that was not at all what I wanted, whilst I did not move out, despite thinking I should’ve, I tried to take a step back and look at what I would give up, which wasn’t a lot but I also realized that perhaps I was being unreasonable. In hindsight, I would’ve moved out, but now that that’s no longer realistic, finding peace with my decision offers some comfort to me.